Yyyyyo yooo yooo. Wasssuuup family. It’s ya gurl back again with a quick post. I wanted to make sure I was documenting the big highlights of this year cause MAN…. this year has truly been one for the books. So there’ll be a few posts in a series called “Hot Gyal Summa” for Gratitude, Appreciation & Reflection. This summer alone, was one of the best summers of my entire life because it was the one where I truly became empowered.

This past July, I took another small leap of faith and conquered something pretty big, for me, personally. In my adolescence, I’ve always battled insecurity. I’ve never been comfortable with my body; Never liked showing off my body because I was taught it was a bad thing. I was taught to hide myself and cover myself up because if I didn’t, I would be over-sexualized. Up until recent, I’ve carried that belief with me. I still am a bit uncomfortable in more revealing clothing and basically in any large social setting. After seeing an ad via Instagram for an opportunity to model on a runway for The Model Experience, I thought it seemed like my perfect chance to finally put my big fears and insecurities aside and do something way outside of my comfort zone. When I received a call back, I was surprised and then immediately resistant to start the process. I have some prior modeling experience… that involves me practicing in front of the mirror and the TV playing ANTM when I was like 13. Also, modeling on Myspace for Myspace’s Next Top Model. LMAOOOO, what was I doing? This aint Myspace, this is the real world. Why in the world did I even do this? lololol welp… f*ck it,” Is pretty much how it went.

Self - The Model Experience (photographer: Josue)

The first day involved going to DTLA for some model coaching hosted by Rio Summers. It was great cause I reaaaally needed the information and it helped a lot with getting comfortable walking in front of people and in heels, I’m definitely terrible at that. I bought her book full of model and posing tips which is still, an amazing resource for me even when I’m directing models on my own sets.

We came back to the studio the next day for some studio headshots, which, I believe i did pretty okay. This was great for me because surprisingly, I rarely find myself on the other end of the camera and this was an opportunity for me to show what I had practiced from the day before and really give it my all. The black and white portraits were tough for me because I had barely any direction from the photographer, (no shade). It taught me the value in giving models direction, especially when they either aren’t very comfortable with themselves or around anybody else. I definitely became aware of the fact that I was highly uncomfortable with myself and the camera. I was awakened to the desire to work our relationship; that I could heal my relationship with myself through my favorite form of art: photography. I took all the courage I had left to continue practicing my runway walk and poses in front of the mirror up until the day of the runway show, which was such an incredible experience. I got to rock this beautiful ‘Nipsey blue’ crochet set handmade by a self-taught black female designer, Schlisha Davis Hollie. The chains on that piece made me feel like a Queen, and it literally fit me like a glove. I did my best walking in my high-heels that were a tad too-high. I even got pulled to walk in a Sav Noir sheer pants suit made by Megan Thee Stallion’s fashion stylist, EJ King.

Self flexing for the camera, photographer (unknown)

The highlight of the entire experience was meeting all these dope women and sharing a special connection within this short amount of time. The girls who modeled in Schlisha’s designs were all so sweet and kind; we all made each other feel so good and we kept the vibe going the entire night. There were a couple of other models I met from different designers who all shared the same fitting room who were incredibly dope and free spirited. This really touched my heart in a way because I think we all expected everyone to take this so seriously and that night was just filled with so much joy and ease it brought the stress and the tension all the way down and allowed me to be at ease when the official show started. When The Model Experience threw their After Party, hosted by Nazanin Mandi Pimentel, the next night, we all got a chance to connect again and pose for pictures with each other. It was a great experience and I’m so glad I was able to get past my uncomfortability; to push my own boundaries and live in the present moment. It’s not always bad being uncomfortable. It’s how you know you’re alive and sometimes, you gotta tell yourself that you’re okay, you will be okay in the end and yea, take a leap of Faith. Do something risky, and exciting. You’ll never grow until you try something new.

That’s gotta be my mantra for 2019. I’ve done so many things this year where I just said, fuck it. We’re gonna try something new and we’re going to figure it out along the way. The Universe is supporting us on each and every endeavor and it’s time we take risks and learn how to fly. It’s been one hell of a ride. I’m ready for so much more.

Don't wanna let too much time go by without getting back to the business though. This is one of the biggest things I have ever taken a risk on, and no matter what I’m not giving up. I’m learning and it feels amazing just being in a place of experiencing and enjoying every present moment that passes by. From now on, i’m trusting my soul’s call even if it sounds crazy or risky. This is the way I believe life should be lived. I’ve got plenty more stories to tell.

Until next time, my friends <3

~ ~ ~ soulfulayuh

credits //

model company - The Model Experience

model coaching - Rio Summers

designer - Schlisha Davis Hollie

date for the evening - Tay’Laur Ambrene

model friends: #4 + #6 - Desiree Malaysia, #5 - Samantha Molina, #7 - Tianna Shanell, #9 - Kaz

after party host - Nazanin Mandi Pimentel